Since writing the “why so serious post” a few weeks back, this idea of joy has been rolling around in my head.
How do I live out of a place of joy? How do I make it my default operating state?
I like funny things. I think most people do. Late last year, earlier this year I had a bit of a line around things either being boring or not. “Don’t be boring” frequently left my lips.
It served a purpose, but ultimately wasn’t overly helpful. I actually didn’t realise how much I was using it, until a friend pulled me up on it as a bit of a joke one day. (Ever since, I’ve stopped). Life is full of boring moments, not everything can be fun all the time.
But is fun and funny the same? No, I don’t think so.
I’ve noticed myself not being so serious in situations lately. Recently I was in a shopping centre with some friends and we had literally been shopping for hours. You know that feeling when your like “not…another…shop“, but sadly we had a list to get through. While standing next to the food court area of this shop, that was complete with a number of vacant tables, and more importantly chairs, I suggested “Hey, do we want to take a bit of a break?“.
One member of the group responded with a slightly silly response “where?” So I responded in just as silly way, “I was thinking right here” and plopped down and sat on the floor…of a corridor…of a shopping centre. Which then the next logical move was to simply lay down, so I did. I laid down in, on the floor, in a shopping centre, for about 20 seconds.
Two things happened.
Firstly it gave my friends something to chuckle about. But more importantly, secondly, nothing else. An act that most people wouldn’t dream of ever doing, but why not? Unless your in a super busy space, I doubt it will kill you. Some random strangers than you will never see again, they might make some random judgements, but should that effect you? No, not really.
But for some reason it does. What others think of us does have a tendency to hold us back from doing things, well at least it does for me. And this in turn, limits my capacity to experience joy. Brene Brown writes in her book “Daring Greatly” from 2012:
“I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles. You have to know that I’m trying to be Wholehearted, but I still cuss too much, flip people off under the steering wheel, and have both Lawrence Welk and Metallica on my iPod.”
I know I am guilty of letting “what will they think” stop me from doing something simple. Who are they? Why should I listen to them?
As a Jesus follower, I think the most important question I can ask when it comes to my actions, is not “what will they think“, but more “what will Jesus think“, or “how does this action line up with the ways of Jesus” (that’s a bit of a mouthful to say!)
Does this build someone up, or tear them down?
Does it bring hope and life into the world, or death and destruction?
If it’s life giving, is it funny? If so, go ahead and do it, don’t stop!
There is an obvious omission here. I was recently driving a group of young people around, let’s call two of them Bill and Sarah. Sarah was threatening to expose Bill’s YouTube channel to the greater youth community that they are both apart of. “Hang on” I interrupted “Your ok with total stranger judging your work, but not your friends?” Bill’s reply “Yes, because strangers don’t see me every day, they can’t physically do things“. How true, how often do we feel that our greatest critics, are not strangers, but those around us? Kris Vallotton has a great quote [paraphrased] “The level at which someone can hurt you, is only equal to level at which you love them”
If we think that are friends are going to judge us badly for our actions of trying to bring life and joy into the world, it’s possibly time to find some new friends. Or at the very least have a conversation with them. Thankfully my friends are loving enough to laugh off my silly act of lying on the floor in the middle of a shopping centre.
Remember, this is just one tool in the toolbox. Toolboxes are full of tools, and a tradie doesn’t use the exact same tool, on every, single, job (expect for maybe a screwdriver, they are pretty handy!). Also this is the start of a journey for me, I might one day look back on this and thinks it’s rubbish, but at least, for hear and now, it seems to be working.
Does this mean that to live from a place of joy, that everything has to be funny? Nope! That would be so tiring. Things are funny because of the contrast of the mundane. (Although some comedians are great at pulling the mundane and making it funny…why do we get on and off trains, yet in and out of cars?? Thanks Jerry for that question!) But I’ve found that letting go, just a bit, by saying or doing something funny seems to bring a bit of joy into my world and to those around me.
Let’s give ourselves permission to experience more joy. I’ll go first:
I Andrew, give myself permission to experience joy daily, and to not limit my experience to what others think.
Now your turn:
I {your name}, give myself permission to experience joy daily, and to not limit my experience to what others think.